The Rhythm of Our Days: Finding Your Flow with a Toddler 💃

The other day, I asked Rose to put on her shoes while I was getting our stroller stocked with supplies for the day. Water, check. Travel potty, check. Bubbles and soccer ball, check. I turned back and discovered she'd pulled a game off the shelf and created a mess. It felt like we were moving further away from the door with every passing minute. We needed to get out and to the playground!

That moment, the one where you feel like you're in a race against your own child, is why I've learned to lean on one thing that's saved my sanity as a stay-at-home mom: finding our rhythm.

Toddlers thrive on routine. A predictable flow helps them feel secure because they know what comes next. It’s the difference between a constant battle and a much more cooperative day. But here's the key: a rhythm is not a rigid schedule. You don't have to be a slave to the clock. Instead, think of it as a loose guide that allows you to stop and follow your child's lead. It's about knowing that after breakfast comes quiet play, or after lunch, we go potty before naptime. The exact minute doesn't matter as much as the sequence of events. It gives us both a sense of security without the stress of the clock ticking.

Our Daily "Playlist": Creating Your Rhythm

To create our rhythm, I identify the anchor activities—the big, non-negotiable moments we can build our day around. For us, these are meals and naps. Our family's rhythm looks a little something like this:

• Wake

• Breakfast 

• Morning activity (a trip to the park, library, or a class)

• Lunch

• Nap

• Afternoon activity (another park visit, the grocery store, or free play at home)

• Dinner

• Bedtime

Just as the sequence is important, so are the transitions between activities. I'm a big believer in narrating our day. "After breakfast, we will put on our shoes and go to the park," or "After class, we will walk home for lunch." It helps my toddler anticipate what's next, which can prevent tantrums and make transitions smoother. It gives them that sense of control that is so important at this age.

Juggling Life and a Little One

A rhythm like this also gives me, as a parent, more flexibility. As a stay-at-home mom, I can follow my daughter's pace because our visit to the playground isn't dictated by a clock. Today, she might be motivated to put on her shoes quickly, and we're out the door in ten minutes. Tomorrow, the transition might take much longer. I've learned to breathe and know that the park will still be there for us when we make it. This has dramatically lowered my own stress and reduced her tantrums.

Another helpful tool is a visual schedule. We have one on our fridge at my daughter's eye level. In the morning, we place a marker on the current day, and she can see the pictures for our morning and afternoon activities. This helps her visualize the day and gives her an opportunity to practice her vocabulary by "reading" our plan to me. It's a fun way to support development across different areas.

It's important to remember that this rhythm is a guide, not a prison. I always try to plan activities that I know we can execute, taking into account the weather and my own daily to-do list.

We Time, Me Time, and Rolling with the Punches

I try to structure our day around both "we" time and "me" time. When we're at the park, I'm trying my best to blow bubbles and chase my toddler. This is our dedicated time together. But I also know the importance of a little "me" time. Maybe it's sending a quick email while she plays with a friend at the park, or sitting and having your iced chai tea. Both are important because we can’t always be 100% on for our kids, and that’s okay.

I also believe in teamwork. If I can blend a mama chore with an activity she loves, I will always try. She loves to help empty the dishwasher or put clothes in the washer. A trip to the grocery store can be a scavenger hunt for a specific item. She even loves using the handheld barcode scanner to help mama with checkout. Involving them helps them practice new skills and makes them feel like they're helping.

Now, don't get me wrong. I have one toddler, and my day is structured a lot differently than others. And there are days when I don’t feel like Supermom, and my toddler doesn't nap. Maybe you forgot to check the weather and it's raining, so the park is out. My rhythm is now off. What do I do?

Take a deep breath—you've still got this. Don't forget about free play. Not every moment of their day needs to be structured. Free play gives your toddler an opportunity to tinker, explore, build, and just be. Use this time for them to be creative. Bring out the LEGOs or Magna-tiles and let them build. Maybe they give their stuffed animals a check up at the doctor. You find her "reading" in her room. You can join them, or not—it's just as rewarding and beneficial for them to play with you, with other children, or on their own. Maybe you use this opportunity to take care of a quick chore or simply sit and breathe.

A Final Check-In

Each night, I do a quick reflection. Maybe you prefer to do one at the end of the week. Did a planned activity not go as expected? Maybe your toddler didn't want to leave the park for music class. There’s a pair of shoes she chooses that always gives you a headache when it's time to head out the door (yes, you know the ones I’m talking about!). What's working? What's not? Remember, adjusting our rhythm isn't a sign of failure—it's a sign of a good caregiving.

Toddlers aren't looking for perfect parents; they're looking for ones who are present and consistent. We provide security when we say what we'll do and we do what we say. This rhythm helps to keep us all moving throughout the day. It also keeps the guesswork out of what to do next. I find the morning flies by, and suddenly it's lunch, which means it's almost break time for me. As much as I enjoy these memorable moments, I also really enjoy her naptime when it's quiet. I can recharge by watching a show, sipping some tea, or folding laundry. They'll be awake before you know it, but you'll be prepared to face the second half of your day. You've got the right rhythm.

What does your daily rhythm look like? Share your tips in the comments below!